It's every parent's nightmare; their child comes home from a high school football game with alcohol on their breath. They probably fiddle with the dog or try quickly to make their way to their room where they think they can escape unscathed. As a parent, your first instinct is to rant and rave about the dangers of alcohol - not to mention driving. Then punishing them for eternity and remaining steamy mad for weeks to come. After all, they broke your trust in a way that could have substantial consequences. For other parents, their teen's drinking habits (or not) remain a secret for a while. The best advice is to assume that they are and keep looking out for signs.
Signs that your teen is drinking are of course, dwindling alcohol supplies of your own at home. If you notice that your liquor cabinet or a beer or two are disappearing, suspect the kids. If your teen is driving, then inspecting their car for beer caps or can - hidden under the seats or in the trunk may give you some clues. You can also find clues by making sure that you have access to their Facebook accounts and other social networking. Kids today have all sorts of code words for things like alcohol or sex that they use to try and fool parents. If you notice a pattern or start seeing posts about things your child and their friends have done - remain suspicious and by all means keep digging.
Other signs could be falling grades, skipping school or a drastic change in friends. If your child has had a best friend since grade school and suddenly hangs with a different crowd, you can be assured they are getting pressured in many ways. This isn't to say that a change in friends or that a certain crowd at school should be assumed bad - but there are reasons teens change friends. It could be that your child's old friends started drinking or partying and they didn't want to fool around with that. If so - good job mom and dad!
Many people believe that dabbling with alcohol or drugs for a teen is just the normal course of growing up. To an extent that may be true. Still, the deciding factor in whether or not your child continues to drink is your reaction. It isn't wise to confront them when they have been drinking. But you do have to deal with quickly and the consequences at home should be drastic enough to leave an impression. It might not be enough to just take things away. The bottom line is that drinking as a teen breaches your trust in them and they have to work very hard to rebuild it with you. Not to mention, it could lead to some dangerous activities for your child. Don't ground them for two weeks and then give in to the pouting and whining about them having to stay home all weekend. Stick to your guns and let them know that not only did they break your rules - they broke the law.
Another piece of advice is to not believe everything your teen tells you. It's amazing how many parents just automatically assume their teen is telling the truth. Don't be afraid to call other parents to make sure your kids are where they say they are - and that they are being supervised. Most parties for teens go on at homes where the parents are out for the night or go away for the weekend. Taking a drive by of your own may feel intrusive but can give you a bird's eye view of what they are really doing. If you suspect something is going on, following them around discreetly can give you a lot of information. After all, their safety is YOUR responsibility. Remember that even the smartest of teens - don't have a fully developed mind that allows them to see around the corners in life.
Teen drinking is fairly common. One survey among high school students indicated that 2.5 out of every 3 students admit to trying alcohol at least once. 2 out of every 3 teens admit to being drunk. Parents need to remain cognizant of behavioral and personality changes in their child and commit to seeing teen drinking as a serious offense with serious consequences.
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