For those that came for the ipod downloads please go to the ipod Download page.
Now that that is out of the way the show can begin.
Ladies and gentlemen, the ipod comedy club is proud to present the king of the one liners Henny Youngman the ipod.
Henny Youngman the ipod: Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told her, "You did it last week!"
A doctor gave an ipod six months to live. The ipod couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.
The Doctor says "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"
The doctor says to an ipod, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks the ipod. The doctor says "I'm mad at my neighbor!"
An ipod goes to a psychiatrist. The doctor says "You're crazy" The ipod says "I want a second opinion!" "Okay, you're ugly too!"
A drunk ipod was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk ipod says "Okay, let's get started."
A bum asked me "Give me $10 till payday." I asked "When's payday?" He said "I don't know, you're the one who is working!"
I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him.
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
In high school football, the coach kept me on the bench all year. On the last game of the season, the crowd was yelling, "We want Youngman! We want Youngman!" The coach says, "Youngman - go see what they want!"
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Take my wife... please!
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